Valentine’s Day is the day that we set aside to celebrate Love! Many people ask me about how to activate relationships and romance in their life. In fact, it is one of the most common areas of life that clients want help with….along with finances. Of course, feng shui offers many traditional “cures” to reignite your love life, and although they can be supportive, I find other things we can do even more foundational.
Traditional feng shui says to look at the south west quadrant of your home (or the master bedroom) and make sure the fire and wood elements are balanced. This is helpful, but what about your own personal fire? Are you feeling magnetic and sexy? If not, why not? What are your beliefs around relationships that you learned growing up? What has been your experiences? Is there a story that you are writing about your own desirability or attractiveness to the opposite sex? Just notice what needs to be internally cleaned out of your own “Inner Sanctum” and find a symbolic way of letting them go. For example, you can write down what you want to let go of and burn it, journal your story or maybe it is that old photo of your past relationship that is still hanging out in the bedroom drawer where you put it the day you broke up. Take it out and let it go.
Some advise for the guys out there:
So what do women really want? Do we really want flowers and chocolates? Fancy dinner and champagne? Not so much….at least not more than we want your deep heart and unwavering presence. We want you to hold us steady in your penetrating gaze when we are drowning in waves of emotion. We want to know that you thought outside of the Valentines box. Thought about us and found a way to show that you treasure us. Whether that means a handmade Valentines card and a romantic poem you wrote or a recreation of an “Evening in Paris” in your living room with diner and french music.
So, it’s not about the presents, but rather about your presence. Nothing touches us deeper….
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Do our thoughts create our reality or does our reality effect our thoughts… which then again effects our reality… This question is like a Zen koan containing the answer in the question. If you think too much about it, which I did for most of my life, you can get confused on when to actively dig and when to rest, when to rearrange and when to throw it all out and start over!
What I have discovered after many years of delving into my own unconscious combined with consulting hundreds of clients as a successful interior designer and feng shui consultant, is that it doesn’t matter which came first, it only matters that the inner reality and the outer environments actually express and reflect the life you want to live. Make it conscious because it is absolutely affecting your experience of life! Empower yourself to be aware of what you are calling forth through your inner voice and your outer expression.
Sanctum Design harmonizes psychology with feng shui design to create environments that are beautiful, balanced and life-giving.
I love it when people ask me what Sanctum means. The Webster and Oxford dictionary define Sanctum as, “a sacred or holy place” and “an inviolably private place or retreat”.
In 1992 I was sitting in a small inner city Catholic Church in Upstate New York listening to a rather radical priest who was a friend of my family. I bowed my head to pray and when I looked up, my eyes rested on a large white marble alter engraved in gold with the word SANCTUM. It hit me like a baptism of fire and the words emblazed on my heart in that moment. The rest of the church disappeared and the priests’ sermon drowned out to a hushed background hum. I knew in that moment that one day, these words would reveal their true meaning to me.
Looking back at the formal definition, I too have used the word in the same way. It is not simply counseling that I offer (the inner sanctum), or merely feng shui design (the private retreat), although both are included. Sanctum is how I see and live in the world. It is becoming fully aware of how we can remove obstacles to our fulfillment through resolving hidden issues and how we can use our environments to support those changes in a very powerful way.
Sanctum goes deeper than feng shui, interior design or counseling alone, although ones may ask me to help with only part of the trio. Sanctum is the bridge between consciousness and design. Your living and working spaces reveal areas that flow in your life and also the areas that need attention. There is always a deeper reason as to why our toilet runs or our why we can’t let go of the storage in our basement. The work to clearing the way is not difficult, it just takes commitment and a willingness to explore, be open and take appropriate action.
Since 1992, I have been a sought after workshop leader, educator and writer. My specialty is in exploring solutions to life’s esoteric challenges in a practical and down to earth manner. I work with individual clients and businesses, advising in areas of environmental alignment, holistic design, geomancy, landscape design and conscious lifestyle creating using my skills as a feng shui consultant, interior designer and counselor.
Welcome to my website and Sanctum services: Sanctum Design, Inner Sanctum spiritual counseling, and Sanctum Tours!